I like Christmas movies. We have our favorites that we watch every year, but I’m always on a quest to find any unseen gems. After watching Silent Night Bloody Night last night, I think I’m still must continue my quest.
Here’s the story. There’s this guy. He’s selling this old house for super cheap because he doesn’t want to worry about it anymore after he inherits it from his grandfather, but when he sends his old, ugly lawyer over there (with young, hot girlfriend in tow), it sets off a string of bloody (hence the title, I think, but I’m not sure) murders which leads everyone to believe there’s someone still living at the house. Sounds alright, right? Well…
The acting was so bad, I had to listen to the music to figure out how I was supposed to feel. John Carradine was in it, but that doesn’t say much given that he was in every movie ever made before 1988. Once it got to the end it had already made such a mess of itself that I was just wanting it to be over, even after its surprise reveal of who it was that was still at the house.
It had its creepy moments, though. The opening scene showed a guy who was lit on fire running out of the house while the camera travels backwards back into the house to reveal some mysterious person playing on the piano. Too bad it didn’t continue to creep me out.
Well, I hardly ever regret watching bad movies, I still enjoy my time watching them. I may never watch them again, but they’re definitely fun for the time being.
Besides the best Christmas horror movie ever (hint: rhymes with “kremlins”), anyone have any other mentionables?
OK. “Heartbreaking Comedies.” “World War II Combat Films.” “Christmas Horror Movies.” You and Jake have got some very specific movie categories. I don’t suppose that horrible movies count as horror, do they? ‘Cause if that’s the case, I’m sure I could come up with some for your list.
But geez, with the exception of Gremlins, which seems more a comedy, I really can’t think of any Christmas horror movies. Even after a few minutes. What’s the matter with me??
I don’t think there is anything wrong with you, Sitzman. It’s a very underused movie category. Personally I don’t like mixing Christmas and horror (usually because after my horror marathon during October I like to step away from horror for a bit). There are some good ones though. Gremlins of course and Black Christmas is good (although that jerkface Netflix took it off before I could see the very end) also I remember starting Night of the Comets in October and realizing it was a Christmas movie so turned it off. I might give it another try here in a few days. I know this is a stretch, but Edward Scissorhands could be considered horror, especially because it is essentially Burton’s retelling of Frankenstein as a fairy tale. I recently watched Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale which is horror-lite and absolutley LOVED the first half hour but the end was so bad I ended up rating it pretty low.
Anywhoo, great post Dusty! I don’t know if this makes me want to finally watch this or skip it entirely, but good work! Also, that poster is super rad. I love 80’s slasher posters.
I’ll have to check out Gremlins again to get in the mood for the season. So what’s your favorite Foreign Language Christmas Travel Film?
Huh, that’s a tough one. I would have to say my favorite foreign language Christmas Travel film would have to be First Knight because it doesn’t match any of those guidelines… Or does it?!?!
What’s your guys’ favorite WWII heart-breaking Christmas horror?
I’d definitely say my favorite heartbreaking Christmas horror comedy is the Charlie Brown Christmas special.
What’s your favorite Christmas Cinemax Softcore Porn Movie? I’d say either “Ho Ho Hos” or “Debbie Does the North Pole.”
Also, there was a Christmas episode of Tales From The Crypt. Im not saying it was great, but if youre itching for Christmas horror, that might satiate your thirst.
I was going to comment on Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale but Jake beat me to it. Curses!