Ed: Are there any zombies out there?
Shaun: Don’t say that!
Ed: What?
Shaun: That.
Ed: What?
Shaun: That. The Z word. Don’t say it.
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because it’s ridiculous!
Ed: All right… Are there any out there, though?

There’s an ongoing practice/idea/trope in zombie movies that the people never say the word “zombie.” I guess that’s because zombies don’t exist, and to call these creatures that are emerging “zombies” would be to admit that they’re real. OK, that’s kind of weird, but I guess it makes at least some sense. In a lot of zombie movies, the characters call the zombies “undead,” “infected,” or some other name like that. There’s even this Tarantino interview that Jake pointed out in one of his posts, which points to the strange practice:

I’m mentioning this because I’ve been reading a few “zombie” books lately, most notably the series called The Remaining, which I got for free on my Kindle. It’s pretty good, but it does call the zombies “infected.” I understand why, too, but what I don’t understand is this: The people in the book are thoroughly in the present day in terms of pop culture, video games, music, clothing, etc, but they all seem baffled when it comes to killing the infected.

If I were ever in a zombie apocalypse (or “infected” apocalypse or whatever) and I saw a zombie walking towards me, I wouldn’t think, “Oh dear, how will ever dispatch of this zombie? It must be indestructible!” No way! I’d just say, “Oh shit! It’s just like in every zombie book and movie ever made! Hey everyone, just destroy its head or brain and let’s go home!”

Anyhow, that’s what I’d do, but I guess I’m glad there’s not been a zombie apocalypse yet, since I’d have to put my money where my mouth is.

There’s a whole sub-world on the Internet of “sexy zombies.” Have a look and be weirded out.

These Mike Tyson-style face tattoos are starting to get a bit out of control.

This is going to be mostly about the book Ender’s Game, not the upcoming movie. Actually, if you are ever going to read the book, get on that now, since seeing the movie trailer will inevitably spoil some parts for you (as all trailers seem to do these days).

The only reason I read this book is because it was in a collection of books given to me by my friend Lucy. I had no idea what it would be about, but I just happened to notice the book right after I saw a picture of Ben Kingsley in makeup for the movie. I thought, “Hmm, looks like there’s a new movie coming up, so maybe I’ll read the book for my Sitzbook project.” I’m glad I read the book: it was pretty original and it was a good, fast read.

But as I read the book, I started to wonder what role Kingsley would play. And then when I heard Harrison Ford was involved, I got even more confused, since 85% of the book is based on kids. That works well in books, but kids generally are not good actors (see the Star Wars prequels for evidence). I wonder if they’ll shift the focus of the movie to the adults? Color me intrigued.

Has anyone else read this book? Has anyone seen the trailer? If you’ve not seen it, don’t. At least that’s my advice. But I’m a Crotchety Old Man when it comes to movie and book reviews, and I like to know as little as possible going into them, in order to be as surprised as possible.

This is supposed to be a Movie Log post, but I guess it’s a bit too long, and maybe it’s more of a Movie Thought. So be it.

This is Ryan, trying out a new “Quotes” feature on the blog. Let’s hope it works!

These quotes are from the book:

1. (There is a lot in the book that talks about how zoos are actually not so bad; I’m not sure how to square this with a lot of what humanity in general thinks about zoos, but it is interesting fodder for thought or debate. In any case, here he’s been talking about how many animals are actually more comfortable in zoos): “If you went to a home, kicked down the front door, chased the people who lived there out into the street and said, ‘Go! You are free! Free as a bird! Go! Go!’–do you think they would shout and dance for joy? The wouldn’t. Birds are not free. The people you’ve just evicted would sputter, ‘With what right do you throw us out? This is our home. We own it. We have lived here for years. We’re calling the police, you scoundrel.’”

2. (I wanted a quote that was representative of the role religion played in the book. But I forgot to mark one, so I’ll have to go with this completely different one instead): “I have nothing to say of my working life, only that a tie is a noose, and inverted though it is, it will hang a man nonetheless if he’s not careful.”

I’m about 96% sure I stole this picture idea from my fellow Cinematic Attic writer Jessica. I’m about 93% comfortable with that. What can I say, it’s a good idea!

Alternate Title: Ryan Reviews…A Book?!? Yes, a book. But it does have some connections to movies. I have previously talked a bit about books, movies, and the transition between one and the other, but this is the first review in which I’ll talk specifically about a book.

As you may or may not (but probably “not”) know, I’ve been doing a book-reading project the last two years called “Sitzbook.” In my project I read a book a week and then do a bit of a write-up about it. This year’s first book was Bill Hicks: Love All The People, a sort of anthology of stand-up routines and other material by Bill Hicks, one of the greatest comedians ever, in my opinion.

I’ll get back to the book in a minute and throw some big quotes at you, but first let’s get a bit of background information out there. Bill Hicks was a comedian from Texas who rose to at prominence in the late 80s. He was “controversial” in that he talked a lot about politics, society, and drugs. He unleashed his wrath on the first two, and as for drugs, he was a major opponent of the hypocrisy surrounding drugs. Although his comedy could be angry, bitter, and often vulgar, he still strangely seemed to come at the whole thing from a place of love and compassion (hence the book’s title). His comedy seemed to reflect an exasperation at the decline of society, but he seemed to genuinely want to change things for the better:

As part of the change he was seeking, it was only natural that Hicks set his sights on the politicians and the political and social issues of the day. A lot of his criticism was certainly directed towards the first Iraq war and the first President Bush, who was in power during Hicks’ heyday, but he also criticized the Democrats and politicians in general (he talked a LOT about the Kennedy assassination and called Bill Clinton and Janet Reno “mass murderers” because of their response to Waco, so it’d be a stretch to call him a puppet of the left).

Strangely, even though so much of his material focused on life in the US, he gained a lot more of a following in the UK than in America. Still, I personally know a lot of Americans who think he was great, so he must have been really big overseas. Unfortunately, though, he died of cancer in 1994. I didn’t hear of him until 2002, when I visited my friend Brian in Munich and almost passed out from laughing while listening to Hicks’ albums. That was at least 10 years after a lot of the material on those albums, and now another 10 years has passed. Yet almost none of the material seems dated; in fact, some of the bits seem almost eerily prescient, as we’re still dealing with a lot of the same problems Hicks talked about (such as gun control, politics, and Billy Ray Cyrus).

For example, gun violence was as much of a problem in the US in Hicks’ time as it is today. When reading the book after a 2012 full of prominent shootings, I was struck by how little has changed. Hicks also talked about gun control and after quoting the second amendment, he comments that:

“This sentence, this one idea, this complete thought in and of itself does not say every Floyd, Clem, or Burl has the right to bear arms. It does not say every psychopathic yahoo in the country should be able to own a gun. It doesn’t say that at all, and anyone with an education higher than the first grade should be able to comprehend this. Again, I believe people should be able to glean the true meaning of a simple sentence before we even begin to discussing their owning automatic weapons for ‘hunting purposes.’

[…] A child could explain this to you if he or she wasn’t busy ducking for cover, or being strip-searched on the way into their grade school.
Here is the problem as I see it—a lot of very fearful and confused people in this world are heading towards realizing their own self-fulfilling prophecy. They’re advocating a right that does not exist (at least constitutionally, as we’ve seen) to arm themselves to the teeth and ‘protect’ themselves from unnamed predators who, they believe, want nothing more than to break into their homes, rape their fat wives, and then steal all their bowling trophies.‘”

If you think about it, that could have been written today, and seeing as he said it years before Columbine and all the shootings that it preceded, his comments about schools are almost chilling. It’s provocative, dark, and bitterly funny at the end, which is a good description of his style (and Hicks himself, for that matter).

Drugs are another thing that Hicks loved to talk about, and they come up in the book and in his routines a lot:

His biggest pet peeve was hypocrisy and its myriad forms, and this came up often when he talked about drugs. For example, the book contains many interviews that Hicks took part in, and here’s what he said in one of them about drug use in general:

“You have all this hype and all these shows about the terrible drug wars that are going on in America and in-between you have all these alcohol commercials. Come on, you can’t tell me that you don’t see the irony there. Cigarettes kill more people than all illegal drugs combined times 100. This is a fact and there is no way we can weasel around it.”

He also lashed out more at cigarettes and alcohol and the hypocrisy surrounding them in his stand-up gigs. The following quote from a routing naturally looks a bit strange in print, but if you watch or listen to Hicks perform the words it has even more impact:

“I got some other shocking information. Tell you this? I know you don’t know this, so I feel it’s my duty to tell you, thus to pass on knowledge: alcohol brrrrrrrrrr is a FUCKIN’ DRUG!… a). b) –and here comes the big one – brrrrrrrrrr alcohol kills more people than crack, coke, and heroin COMBINED EACH YEAR! […] ‘It’s OK to drink your drug. Ha ho, yeah! We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the bad ones.’ […]
My life is infinitely better now that I’ve quit taking drugs. But my life would be infinitely worse had I ever been arrested for taking drugs. That’s my fucking point.“

It’s pretty obvious that I thought the book was good, although due to its nature (an extensive compilation) a few of the routines collected in the book can get a bit repetitive. But that’s hardly Hicks’ fault–it’s just how comedy works. If you want a quicker fix, though, I’d recommend the excellent movie biography called American: The Bill Hicks Story, which I watched recently. It has selections of Hicks’ material, but it also tells his interesting story, and it makes the fact that he died so young (at the age of 32) that much more sad.

So, whether it’s through American, one of Hicks’ stand-up CDs, or this book, I’d recommend you check out this brilliant comedian that we lost far too soon.

OK, I guess it’s not been that quiet here, and I imagine we writers got all hot and bothered for the Oscars and then ended up taking this week off to recover from our fainting spells (since most of the writers for Cinematic Attic are old-fashioned Dandies through and through). Plus, I have a feeling I’ve been thinking about dystopian futures more than usual lately.

The “Cover-inside-the-cover” of Veronica Roth’s “Divergent”

As a side note (and a bit of inevitable self-promotion), I’m reading a book a week again this year (you can see the list here). It just occurred to me recently that a lot of the books that I’ve been reading lately –and indeed, a lot of books that are popular in general– deal with alternate, post-apocalyptic futures. And that has also affected the types of movies that are being made, too.

For example, this year so far I’ve already read Veronica Roth’s Divergent and Stephen King’s The Gunslinger, both of which are part of series that explore a world after some kind of catastrophic event. And in the last two years of my project I also read such titles as Apocalypse Z: The Beginning, Cloud Atlas, Ready Player One, The Stand, and the three books from the Hunger Games series. But if I had to list the movies that dealt with these kinds of topics, the list would be so long I’d have to do it on a separate post.

OK, to be honest, I only read the novelization of this one.

I was surprised, then, when I was recently talking to two other Cinematic Attic contributors who happen to have a baby. I’ll give you 5 extra points if you can figure out who I’m referring to. Anyhow, they told me that ever since having their child, they don’t like to read dystopian or post-apocalyptic novels. I thought that was interesting, and although I’m definitely hesitant to second-guess them seeing as I have no kids of my own, I think that such novels and movies could be a good way to deal with the realities of now, by seeing how crappy the future might be if we mess things up.

Then again, that might just make a new parent more stressed. I don’t know.

Anyhow, it was just a thought, and I wanted to share it with everyone to see what kinds of comments you had.

Here are my lists, by the way, since I know a lot of us are into that:

RYAN’S TOP 5 DYSTOPIAN NOVELS THAT HE CAN THINK OF ON THE FLY AND LIST WITHOUT PUTTING TOO MUCH EFFORT INTO IT:

5. Ready Player One – Ernest Cline: A double win, as it combines a depressing future in Oklahoma with fervent 80s nostalgia.

4. World War Z – Max Brooks: This guy really did his homework.

3. The Road – Cormac McCarthy: Lock up the booze and guns before reading.

2. Brave New Fahrenheit 1984 – 3 Authors: The three times I’ve read these, I read them together, so I just think of them as one giant, awesome bummer.

1. The Stand – Stephen King: One of my favorite books ever.

Escape from THIS, Harry Dean Stanton! (If that really is your real name)

RYAN’S TOP 5 DYSTOPIAN OR POST-APOCALYPTIC MOVIES THAT HE CAN SORTA MAKE UP AS HE GOES ALONG:

5. Cloud Atlas: This would be higher (and in the book section, as well), but over half the novel takes place in the past.

4. Death Race 2000: I’d say the title says it all, but it leaves out two things: “David” and “Carradine.”

3. Legends of the Fall: I shudder to think of a future in which I’d need to watch this shitty movie again.

2. Children of Men: A future with no need for birth control.

1. Blade Runner: Mainly since it’s great, and because everyone always uses it as a touchstone for talking about dystopian futures.

I also want to end with a few questions. Please answer in the form of a complete sentence.

1. Do you like post-apocalyptic or dystopian novels and movies? If so, why? If not, why, and what’s the matter with you? What it is about their topic matter (or our human nature) that makes them so popular?

2. What titles or movies have you enjoyed, and which haven’t you liked? Explain.

That’s all I’ve got for you today. Have a great rest of the weekend!