If you’ve not seen Paul, it’s basically about two nerds that go on a post-Comicon tour of UFO sites in the southwest US, only to actually find an alien. The alien is named Paul, and he’s just escaped from a government facility and is trying to meet up with his own kind. He’s evidently from a raunchy galaxy because he’s funny and talks a lot of crap. The movie follows the three of them as they try to take Paul to a rendezvous point, pursued all the while by authorities and an ultra-religious father-daughter family.

The movie was good in general, although it didn’t have as many laugh-out-loud moments as some of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s previous movies (Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, both of which I thought were excellent). In this case the two guys take a backseat to the alien (voiced by Seth Rogen) and the other supporting characters. And that’s actually OK, since the supporting characters really carry the show in this movie. The religious girl is portrayed excellently by Kristen Wiig, and watching her learn to swear effectively was a slut-farting, hairy-boobed delight, as she might say. The various law enforcement people are also pretty good, too.

So if you’ve not seen it, definitely do check it out, but after the other two movies I mentioned above. Or, I guess check out this one first, and then work your way up to the others to get more and more laughs. Actually, yes. That’s a much better idea.

I’m giving this movie a 13.5/17 total.

Iron Sky wasn’t bad at first, I would even say I was intrigued at the beginning. It quickly turned into a political satire, and not a good one. Apparently, the United States eventually vote in a Sarah Palin-esque president, which might be funny, but it wasn’t, just really annoying. The special effects were pretty good, though… It’s amazing that b-movies nowadays can have great visuals. Horrible movie, though.

Center of the Earth was a cross between Hostel, Terminator, and a tiny bit Independance Day. The only difference is I liked those movies. This one was bad. I watched this right after Iron Sky. I thought both would be unique, interesting, and fun, but they were none of those. Hitler comes back as a mech-thing in this one. Jake Busey was in it. Don’t like him much.

I’m not sure what happened that two Nazi movies came out so close together. I’m thinking there’s people out there that fantasize about getting their try at fighting back against evil. Well, I would advise you stay away from these movies as they’re both very, very bad.

I give them both a 5/17.

Ryan here. We watched 2009’s Star Trek last night. I’d not seen it before, but it was on Netflix. I was afraid they might take it off come June, so I thought we should check it out. I’m definitely a Star Wars partisan, but I enjoy the Trek world, too. It’s just much bigger and I have to admit that I’ve only seen the original movies, and that was when I was still in high school. And I’m fine with that–it just seems like if I really wanted to try to get into Star Trek, it would take me the rest of my life to do so, and I’ve got other stuff coming up that I need to take care of first.

Anyhow, we did actually enjoy the movie. I’m a bit surprised Angela liked it, but I think it just proves that there’s a big gap between what she thinks she likes and what she actually likes.

The movie was good and pretty fast-paced, but it was also a bit confusing. The whole time travel aspect made me just realize that I’d forgotten most of the original story line from the other movies. For example, I’m still not sure if Kirk ever knew his dad, or what the actual reality of the whole story was.

Good acting, though. The guy from Harold and Kumar, the girl who plays Uluru, Simon Pegg, and That Charming Devil Eric Bana: all good choices for supporting cast members.

All in all I’d give it a 14/17. Live long and prosper, kids.

It’s entertaining an educational, and for that I’ll give it a 15/17. I’ll also include a few “alternative” rating systems that I came across when looking for an image for this post:

Ryan Sitzman here. I know we’ve already talked about Lincoln twice, but I thought I’d just chime in quickly.

I saw it last night. It was good, but did get a bit slow in parts. I realize that passing the 13th amendment and ending the Civil War were Lincoln’s two biggest things, but they don’t always make for gripping cinema. I liked the movie, but the way it made me think of how things must have been back then was even cooler. So, check it out if you haven’t already.

13/17.

Deuce here. Now, Hangar 18 wasn’t a bad movie until the end. Hey, at least the Teen Wolf dad starred! The story kept me going and I was wondering how it was going to end. I’m gonna spoil the end here because, let’s face it, no one is going to go out and watch this movie. Here at Cinematic Attic, we’ve reviewed scores of movies, and someone is going to choose Hangar 18?! If so, I want to meet you, because you’ve got taste! Anyhoo, in the end, the government made it look like a plane crashed into the hangar, killing and blowing up everything just as the plot was getting more interesting. Then the credits rolled. Eh. 8/17.

These Mike Tyson-style face tattoos are starting to get a bit out of control.

This is going to be mostly about the book Ender’s Game, not the upcoming movie. Actually, if you are ever going to read the book, get on that now, since seeing the movie trailer will inevitably spoil some parts for you (as all trailers seem to do these days).

The only reason I read this book is because it was in a collection of books given to me by my friend Lucy. I had no idea what it would be about, but I just happened to notice the book right after I saw a picture of Ben Kingsley in makeup for the movie. I thought, “Hmm, looks like there’s a new movie coming up, so maybe I’ll read the book for my Sitzbook project.” I’m glad I read the book: it was pretty original and it was a good, fast read.

But as I read the book, I started to wonder what role Kingsley would play. And then when I heard Harrison Ford was involved, I got even more confused, since 85% of the book is based on kids. That works well in books, but kids generally are not good actors (see the Star Wars prequels for evidence). I wonder if they’ll shift the focus of the movie to the adults? Color me intrigued.

Has anyone else read this book? Has anyone seen the trailer? If you’ve not seen it, don’t. At least that’s my advice. But I’m a Crotchety Old Man when it comes to movie and book reviews, and I like to know as little as possible going into them, in order to be as surprised as possible.

This is supposed to be a Movie Log post, but I guess it’s a bit too long, and maybe it’s more of a Movie Thought. So be it.

It was amusing, but no more. Sitz-Scale: 12/17.

Here’s a game you can play at home: It’s called “Member of Pearl Jam or Matt Dillon Looking Skeezy?”

When I originally heard of this movie, it was billed as something like “Cameron Crowe’s tribute to the 90s Seattle Grunge scene.” I wouldn’t call it that, exactly, although it does feature (acting) performances from a few members of Pearl Jam and Soundgarden. It’s basically about people in their 20s and 30s trying to date in Seattle.

I went into this movie really wanting to like it, since I think Cameron Crowe is generally great. But then I spent the first half of the movie disliking so many things about it (90s fashion, Matt Dillon, a depressing miscarriage subplot, breaking the fourth wall to talk about garage-door openers, etc.). But then in the second half, the movie redeemed itself, without me even being able to explain how it did so. But at the end, I just thought, “Hmm, that was pretty good, I guess.”

So, “that was pretty good, I guess” translates to about a 13/17 on the Sitz-o-meter movie rating scale. I’m not sure I’d watch it again any time too soon, especially if I had any other Cameron Crowe movie that I know about to choose from, but I could see myself watching it again in 10 or 20 years, especially if I have kids and there’s some 90s retro fashion fad.

I would only give this a 9/17. Watch it just for the band. It expires from Netflix on June 1st.