Baby steps to writing blog posts again… Baby steps to writing blog posts again… Baby ste– oh, hello! It’s been a while since I (or anyone) has posted to this blog, so it’s time to get back into action!

My excuse is that I went to Germany for three weeks with my wife and some students, so that cut down on my movie-watching time. But I managed to squeeze in three mediocre sequels on an otherwise excellent Lufthansa flight from Frankfurt to Bogotá. Here’s a quick rundown:

Movie: The Hangover Part III
Comments: There were some good moments to the film, and at least they didn’t re-do the second one (which, as everyone says, was a re-do of the first one). Interesting that the tone got a bit more serious, but still fairly enjoyable.
Rating: 10/17. I probably wouldn’t see it again (there are too many movies out there), but if someone had rented it and I didn’t have a choice in the matter, I’d not be too bummed.

Even her body language says, “What the hell? In what Taliban-led country is this controversial?”

Movie: Star Trek Into Darkness
Comments: We really liked the first one of these new Star Trek movies, but this one wasn’t that great. It seemed pretty similar to the previous one, and unnecessarily complicated. I think that people talked a lot about the scene with what’s her name in her underwear, saying that it was indicative of something (maybe the downfall of the civilization?). I don’t know if they edited that scene for the airplane (probably not, since all the profanity was preserved for The Hangover), but the girl in her bra was about as titillating as a JC Penney’s catalog underwear model.
Rating: 8/17. There was still some cool space crap, I guess.

These are the actual women from the JC Penney’s online catalog’s bra section. I’m going to take back that previous comment; both of these ladies are more controversial than the Trek girl.

Oh, and speaking of bras: How the hell is Gwyneth Paltrow’s bra still in tact in this scene? Was it made of asbestos? Because last I heard, when your body heats up to 1,000 degrees or whatever and destroys everything around you in a ball of flame, cotton garments don’t get a free pass. That’s the kind of detail that even someone who’s had a few free drinks at high altitude could pick out.

Movie: Iron Man 3
Comments: Like Star Trek, it seems like this just got too complicated. Too much crap going on, too many characters that aren’t that great. I did like how the tone changed a bit when Tony went to Missouri or wherever the hell that was, but other than that, it seemed like everyone was just eager to wrap the whole thing up.
Rating: 11/17. Robert Downey Jr. is still pretty funny, though.

So, that’s it for now. What have the rest of you been watching?

Now first off, I must begin by saying that I love the new Marvel films that began with Iron Man. I was so happy that Marvel finally figured out how to incorporate their mythology into a series of films that were at once standalone comic book pictures but also part of a larger storyline. With each new Marvel film, I was so excited to see Captain America’s shield showing up on Tony Stark’s work counter or talk of the Super Soldier Serum in Incredible Hulk because I knew The Avengers was coming. And when it did, it was FANTASTIC!

Iron Man 3 is in a tough spot already since it’s the first standalone Marvel film after The Avengers. The fact that they chose Iron Man (obviously the most popular and liked Avenger) is smart but still makes one yearn for Avengers 2. The entire film I kept hoping Thor or the Hulk would jump in and help out Tony Stark when he is fighting hordes of villains, but sadly, *SPOILER ALERT* they never do.

When I heard Shane Black would be writing and directing the new Iron Man I was ecstatic! I absolutely love Lethal Weapon, Monster Squad, and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and thought he would be bring an amazing new voice to the superhero film. After seeing the movie, you can definitely tell Black was involved (whether it is Stark’s narration where he messes up and begins again ala Kiss Kiss or the film noir and buddy film tropes all of his films possess or it’s Christmas setting), in the end it just feels like another overblown superhero movie.

I can enjoy an overblown superhero movie any day of the week (I LOVE The Incredible Hulk) but Iron Man 3 has a mid-movie plot twist that absolutely ruined the entire film for me. Now the twist is very clever and definitely unexpected (don’t worry I won’t ruin it) but it made me feel the exact same way I did when I saw M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village. For those who haven’t seen The Village, stop now and continue to the next paragraph. Ok, those who are still here, WHY THE HELL DID HE MAKE THE MONSTERS FAKE?!?!? Everyone always mentions the so-called “BIG” twist that the village is actually in the modern-day and not the 1600’s as you believe, but that one doesn’t really ruin it for me. The fact that he made the monsters a made-up parlor trick to scare the villagers into submission is simply idiotic. How can you be scared again? Why even watch it again when you know those horrific beasts are actually assholes in homemade suits? This is how I felt in Iron Man 3. I literally almost walked out when the twist happened. It ruined the mythology the films had created and made the entire movie a joke.

Now, not everything is bad. Ben Kingsley makes a FANTASTIC villain out of the Mandarin. He is a character cloaked in mystery and feels completely dangerous. The way he talks is simply creepy and awesome and a much better villain for Tony Stark to fight than a bald Dude or a Russian Mickey Roarke. The film noir and mystery aspect of the film is great. Most of the movie, Stark acts as a detective (much like Bruce Wayne) attempting to solve and avenge his friend’s recent attack and injury. It’s a very cool addition to the series and gives the film a new style to play with. The film also does a good job treating the events that happened in The Avengers as a trigger for Stark’s Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Tony Stake has always been the most “human” Avenger and the fact that he has panic attacks after going through the wormhole in Avengers makes him even more relatable.

Overall, I give it a 14/17 on the Sitz-o-Matic scale. It is the first big disappointment of the year and quite possibly the worst of the new Marvel films. Please see it and tell me what you think! I have a feeling that my reaction to the film might be completely different than everyone else.

Top 5 “Phase 1″ Marvel Films:
1. The Avengers
2. Iron Man
3. Thor
4. Captain America: The First Avenger
5. The Incredible Hulk